Just as I’ve sat horrified but silenced in the wake of leaders who have led from their brokenness and left a trail of wounded souls behind them, I have also experienced the greatness of leaders who have led from true Goodness. Each of these leaders has done the deep, soul wrenching work of coming face to face with their own brokenness. And instead of fleeing from it, fighting it, or cowering, these great leaders have simply stood. They have stood in the midst of their brokenness, and the wreckage their brokenness created. They have not denied it or made excuses. They have chosen to truly see it, to mourn it, and when the time is right -- to release it.
We must make no mistake, nor take this lightly. This is hard work. At times, it seems soul shattering. It is, in part, the work of reconciling the carnage your broken self has left all around. It is also the work of tending childhood wounds, noticing weakness and places of vulnerability, naming idols and vices and acknowledging the motivation that drives you to them time after time. It is being able to live in the dissonance of already and not yet - being and becoming. And above all else, holding on to the deep, mystical knowledge that who you truly are is so. much. more.
To work with a leader who has done this work is a true gift of heaven, like being handed a precious stone - full of wonder and beauty and pretty darn strong. Let me name some of these leaders for you and give you a glimpse of Good leadership.
Joe is an enneagram 3. Enneagram 3s have the potential to continually wear a mask, to pretend and not be real, to achieve at all costs. Not so with Joe, my first true great leader in the way of Goodness. Joe saw me, really saw me... mistakes and all. And he accepted me. He didn’t push me beyond what I was capable of. He acknowledged my limits and let me know they were ok. He did not wear masks. His goal was not achievement, it was relationship. Joe led gently and humbly. He modeled depth and authenticity in his teaching, personal life and work relationships. He told others, without words usually, that he valued their dignity, their uniqueness. Joe was able to because he had done his own inner work.
Tara (an enneagram 4) has been my second example of a great leader who leads out of Goodness. Tara, also, at some point in her past chose to stand toe to toe with her brokenness. And so, the draw toward envy that 4s could have, becomes in her a deep and true ability to really see another as God created them - to name and honor that differentness. And then, in a gentle, loving and kind way, she draws it out - encouraging it to shine brightly. I recently asked Tara, “How can I become a better support to the leaders I walk with?” She closed her eyes to think and went on a kind of inner journey, I assume talking to the Spirit about what He desired her to say. I expected something along the lines of “You could ____ better.” She said “You have this gift _____. Lean into it.”
Tara saw me in that moment, as I was created to be. She named something lying dormant in me and then called it forth. She encouraged me to be more fully me. She’s ushering in the kingdom of heaven, y’all. By seeing it in me. And she can do that because she has done her own deep inner work.
My third example of a great leader is my dear friend Kaylene. But! You’ll have to wait for part 3 to meet her.